Something's Missing

John Mayer's - Something's missing has been playing through my Itunes. Hence the title. And hence this post. Since the Subang boy has complaint that I haven't been updating my blog in awhile. So nahhh, give you a post to read la.

It's been a pretty while since I last got all emotional and wrote down what my heart feels. Obviously it's a good thing, but somehow I feel this awkwardness inside of me. Like that part of me has suddenly gone missing.

Sometimes it's nice to read emotional post especially when you know what is happening and what's going on when the other party thinks that no one knows what he or she is going through! Haha, I'm a sadist. I know, but somehow I find that entertaining and sometimes, that's where I get my inspiration from.

Gahh, I miss that emotional side.

No emo most.

Too bad.

Blame myself for being so emotionless.

Cause and Effect

I always prefer to have a plan ahead of me before I indulge into certain things which needs commitment. I usually examine the pros and cons before making my decision. That really just shows that I'm not much of a risk taker. Some may say that I live on the safe side in life, but I guess its better safe and stable rather than fast and dangerous. Therefore, I always like to have a plan ahead of me so that I don't go off tracked.

Well, most of us would love to have our plans executed the way we planned it to be, but most of the time that is not the case. For example, at the beginning of a school year, I am always motivated to do my best in my subjects and assignments, but as the week goes by, I get sidetracked by all sorts of entertainment and demoralised by the piles of assignment which never seem to end. Then I lose the motivation to study as hard because I've already messed up and I'm already way behind the lecturer. What's the point, right? Furthermore, what's worse, exams, did not do as well as I expected. Get results back, rant about how bad it is, regret that I did not give my full effort and lastly, make resolutions on how I am going to buck up the next semester. And I go through the same cycle once again. Sounds familiar?

Life's pretty much the same. And at times we face challenges which may seem so difficult to overcome, at times we give up, but its those moments when we persevere and push forth that we grow stronger than before. I always ask myself, am I willing to step out of my so called "plan" and make necessary changes when things don't seem to work the way I planned it to be or am I just going to stick to my plan and hope that other things may change? Both actions have different consequences and am I willing to take the risk to change my plan at that very moment? Cause and effect.

I believe that everyone of us get sidetracked at times, but I guess in the end its not about what happened along the way, but what's the result at the end of the day. Whether I achieved what I intended to achieve or did I fall short and disappoint myself? Those questions have always played through my mind, each action that I take would have different cause and effects, and sometimes knowing what's around the bend benefits, but what if I do not have any clue about what's ahead? How then am I suppose to make my decisions? Critical thinking. Critical thinking.

I hate it. I hate being in a dilemma. Choices. Damn. It takes up so much energy sometimes that it drains you physically and mentally. Gahhh! I guess I'm gonna stop now. Head pain. Zzz.

Later

Emptiness within Fullness

You know when I was growing up, I used to have this four-in-one board game set which includes, chess, the star game - where you must get all your members from one triangle to the other triangle on the other side of the board, and another game which me and my siblings used to call home - the game which you go around the board to reach to the check point a.k.a. home, and when you roll the dice and get the number 6, you get to put another player in the game, well that's basically the gist of that game. And now, if you can remember, there was one more game which no one I know - up till these day actually knew how to played that game. It's rather confusing and it does not have that attraction which makes the game rather invisible. Or you could say that it has been set to "appear offline mode" on a 24/7 basis. Can you guess what game I am talking about? 

Its..

..

...

backgammon.

even till this day, I have not met anyone who can confidently say that they know how to play this game. It's quite ironic that we are able to play all the other games on the board and yet we are able to ignore this game without even having the urge to know more about that game. It's as though it would have made no difference if the board game set came without that it. Oh well, I did read up a little bit about that game on wikipedia. And apparently it has much to do with strategy planning and all. With all said, I'm still not convinced that it is actually fun to play and furthermore, I still have that feeling that it would turn out the way I expected it to be. Boring. Though, I would want to give it a try.

 

Anyhoo, does anyone want to learn to play backgammon together? 

five!

It's the year of 5 for my family and me!

It's my mom and stepdad's 5th wedding anniversary this year!
It's also my stepdad's company 5th as well!
5 years I've been staying in this condominium
My mom would reach the BIG 50 come August!
My dad turns 65 come October!
My niece turns 5 come November!
I turn 20 come October!

All in the multiples of 5!

Good thing comes in 3 as they say, but better things come in 5!