Cristiano Interviews Ronaldo

I thought this was hilarious!

The silence that kills.

Didn't know it would be possible to find music which relates most to my heart right now at the most unexpected place. But I guess it's a good thing that I can still rejoice in the midst of waiting and uncertainties of what the future may bring. Definitely a difficult and bumpy patch to go through, but I know I've gotta strive and push forward because I believe that its an essential thing for both of us to go through to really know if we can brave through this whole thing and come out stronger.

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Relationships. I am definitely not here for fun and laughter, I'm in for the long run and hopefully to the finish line. I know that one thing for sure is that I cannot let my heart be messed up once too many times over the same matter. Even someone who possess strong bones, once broken a few times, a weak spot is formed and it wouldn't be as strong as it use to be anymore. Putting yourself in the innocents' position will give you a different angle of things. It makes you understand that it's not only not fun being in their position but that feeling of being betrayed lingers. And given a real life situation, if its a choice of being lied to to make me happy or to tell me the truth that will hurt me, I'd rather be told the blunt truth which will hurt so much so that I can move on with life rather than given the presumption that there's still hope and to hold on to something which is of no existences. Sometimes I wonder why people lie to the ones they supposedly "love" when they are out there with "another so called lover". Why can't you just tell the "lover" the truth and move on, why would you be so selfish to tell them that you still love them when you clearly don't anymore.

Sometimes I think people take relationship for a laughing matter or just for physical pleasure. One night stands, friends for benefits even while their in a relationship. The only thing that comes to my mind is "Fuck this shit!". Profanities is not even enough to express the feeling I hold against such actions. The world is one screwed up place, and sometimes I wonder to myself, what's wrong with the world? Why do people do it? Why? Especially when there is someone genuinely loving them at home, you're out there fooling around with others. And sometimes we wonder why our life sucked so bad and at the end of the day, there's no point saying things like sorry, when you know you'll be a fucking prick once again. Don't you think so?

If you guys are wondering, big news! big news! Henry is blogging about something juicy, I guess I'm sorry to say that you've been disappointed because this was just a provocative thought which played in my mind this morning when I woke up and read the daily news of husbands cheating on wives, boyfriends cheating on girlfriends, vice versa. Tell me, where's the justice done? Tell me, is there hope or there isn't would you? I can't go through living every single day as if I'm ignorant or not affected by it. Truth be told, I'm alright. Truth be told, I'm not.

To make you feel my love.

Heard this song a few days back and decided to search for it. It has been my theme song ever since. I know that reality is tough to face at times. But fret not, I'm doing better than expected and I believe that God is working in my life even as I write this post.

To make you feel my love

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go blind for you
I'd go crawling down the aisle for you
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love.

I was searching for God the other day, and after finding him, I struggled with God about so many things. From relationship, to serving Him. He told me to trust Him yet I retaliated. I struggled to let Him work in my life, and I just wouldn't give in. Even words which echoes "place your trust in me, and I will bless you" kept ringing in my head, but I just couldn't see how God could actually "bless me". But after going through a tough and hard inner battle with God, I gave up and surrendered unto Him. I knew that I really had to go through the hard way to obey and so I told the Lord, if you need to break me to show me the plans you have for me, break me. And indeed He broke me apart.

I guess through this hard and painful lesson, God is grooming me and teaching me to place my trust in Him and know that He will work all things well. I am actually kinda dumbfounded/surprised that I took this bold step (or rather i did not have a choice :P) to become vulnerable, giving into something which I thought I would never been able to give in, and yet, to becoming so strong and positive that this is something I needed and somehow I did not fear anything. Trust. And to the girl who reads this blog post, you know who you are. I just want to say that this is not the last of us, I believe and trust that come July things between us will work out fine even as we take a break from each other to have our own space, time to figure things out. I am placing my trust in Him and I believe that this continuum of time will bring us to greater heights. Believe.

Believe. Trust. You and me.

Of Memories That Comes My Way.

I don't know whether it's just a girl thing to have that "secret black book" where they write all important things or private stuff and keep it somewhere safe, its like their little hide away, their sacred hiding place in which they hide themselves from the world and spend time on their own to ponder about what's important to them and jot it down hoping that one fine day when they look back at it, their little dreams and fantasies may have come true! Haha, I don't know, I'm just speculating, but I think the chances of a girl having a black book is rather high. I don't think my girlfriend has one though. ;P

Anyway that's besides the point. Well, a few days back after jogging in Kiara I went home to my old crib to pack some of my stuff that has been laid idle for quite awhile, anyway as I entered the room, the smell just brings back loads and loads of memories. Good memories. Fond moments. Brithday surprises, spending quality time with love ones, playing dota one month before SPM, being able to call that room, my first personal room! Ahh, sweet memories, I don't know about you, but I'm a rather sentimental person, I like to treasure gifts from friends/family/love ones even though those gifts might most likely be better off in the trash. It's kinda hard for me to pack my stuff because most of the time, I end up packing unnecessary stuff away. Oh well, blame that sentimental side of me. hahaha!

So anyway as I was going through my stuff, I begun looking through notebooks and books which I had used during my A-level years and I bummed into a book, a simple note book. Nothing extraordinary looking, I took it up and opened it, and woosh, memories of the past came back to me, and I realised it was a book in which I wrote poems for Princess. I forgotten all about it, but finding this book really made my day! Well, I'll just share one of them with you.

:)

(definitely made my day!)


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*disclaimer* : do not scroll down if you cannot handle mushy stuff. This is not for the faint hearted. scroll down at own risk.

You - Henry Goh

Words could only express a fraction of how much I love you,
But its words that I have for you right now,
3,000 miles isn't exactly near,
But I've made up my mind,
I'm gonna persevere and make you mine.

I'll never be a poet,
And neither will I ever be even if I were to try,
But these are just a few words that comes from deep within,
Words that are so limited which could only grasp a glimpse of my love for you.

You're my angel,
You're my princess,
And I know that you will always be there to guide me whenever I go astray,
And most of all,
you make me feel as though I'm on top of the world!

It's really amazing how our journey began,
Nothing like what I could ever imagined.
Yet what has been has been.
And it has certainly paved the way to where we are right now.

I remember once you told me that you told a friend,
That whoever becomes my girlfriend would be the luckiest girl!
And guess what?
I got you in my life and I must say that I'm the luckiest guy ever!

I know that there are times that I let you down,
But I am so grateful that you've given me countless of chances to right my wrongs.
I'm learning day by day
Little by little I'm slowly becoming a better man.

You've taught me so much,
To learn to see things in a bigger perspective
Thank you for being my friend,
My very best friend.

I love you Grace Wong Shing Ying.
<3>

Smile for it looks good on you. :)
Darling, I've got your back covered, and I am here for you whenever you need me.

Signing off,
Henry Goh
<3>

Yawn!

Waking up as early as 11am on a Saturday morning seems so inhumane! Puzzled? Well let me explain, you know like if you're school and your school starts in the morning, you've gotta wake up a little before 7 to get ready for school, and when the weekend comes, you take the opportunity to sleep in till 11-12? So likewise, it just feels so weird for me that a Saturday is basically like any other day! Sigh, I think it feels the way I feel it because I'm on holidays and every other day I would be waking up by 11am day but on a Saturday? Let's just see what time I should be waking up. Let me do some calculations.


School students: Weekdays (7am) ------> Weekends (11am)
Me: Weekdays (11am) ------> Weekends (??)

For school students, there is an increase in 4 hours of sleep during the weekend, hence I would need to increase my sleep by 4 hours to feel like a normal person! That means I should wake up at 3pm! Hahahaahaha, oh my, I can't even believe that I am blogging about this shit!

Well on the other note, it's already the 16th of May. One and a half more month before I take off to the land down under, there's just a feeling of excitement and a little feeling of leaving everything behind. I don't know what to expect but yet at the same time I am looking forward to this journey ahead of me. Tell me, how do you guys do it back then? All my life I've been leaving with my parents and now, it's just a blink of an eye before I pass through the departure gates and enter into a whole new step in life. Scary as it may be. I am ready to take up the challenges ahead of me.

Well, enough talk about the future and all, now I'll just take you back a decade. And as you can see, that's little puny on the far right. Lol.

Courtesy of seindahirama.

Till next time.
Out!

To Do List

For those of you who know, I have just completed my first year of my degree in HELP and I am currently about a week into my holidays. You know, there has always been one thing that has eluded me, is that my holidays are always wasted. Therefore, today I decided to write a to-do-list, or things that I would like to accomplish during my holidays.

1) Complete reading at least 2 books.
2) Build a kite.
3) Complete the inner round of kiara hill in a time of 10:30. (11:29 currently)
4) Achieve a muscle up
5) Lose at least 5kgs.
6) Work, if I can get one.
7) Conquer KK.
8) Play at least a few round of golf.
9) Improve on my photography.
10) Get my bank account TT details.
11) Continue to love princess every single day.
12) Spend quality time with my family and God.
13) Learn to cook.
14) Clear the unwanted things from my room.
15) Have a good holiday!
16) Work on being a better son/brother/boyfriend.
17) Spend quality time with my friends before I leave in 2 months.
18) Learn more about finance.
19) Have a food trip across the peninsular!

Okay, those are a few of the things that I have to do. At least now if I forget to do something. I can always refer back to the list. : )

Tan Tze Yang you can help me out with number 13 :)

Revolutionary Road.

Revolutionary road, a movie that hit the screens in America in December 08'. The film was depicted in the year 1955 and speaks about a couple who moved to an upscale suburb of New York City in which they had 2 children along the way. April (Kate Winslet) quit her acting career and became a housewife and Frank (Leonardo DiCaprio) who worked as a marketing agent for a company in which his father worked for the last 20 years was dissatisfied with their lifestyle. They felt that they were unique and special, but were caught in a life which they felt has no alter meaning besides living to raise their kids.

Because of feeling inadequate, Kate and Frank have bitter arguements from time to time. Frank cheats on his wife with a secretary on his 30th birthday, and when he comes home that night, his wife his and kids were waiting for him at the kitchen table with a birthday cake for him and Kate made a proposal to move to Paris, and suggest that she would take on a job to support the family so that Frank would have the opportunity to discover what he truly wants to do in life. Frank was reluctant at first, but soon enough Frank embraces the decision to tag along with the idea, things changed and soon enough, Frank's talent in his marketing position had finally paid off and was recognized. Kate got pregnant once again, and Frank said that for the sake of the unborn baby he has decided not to go to Paris. Kate becomes furious and sleeps with their neighbor and friend. And eventually the whole marriage got screwed up and things didn't end up the way it did.

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One of the better movies that I have watched this year.
Too bad it was not on the screens in Malaysia. Mind blowing emotions, which I think was only able to be recaptured between two people who have known each other for so long, Kate and DiCaprio. Amazing. Encouraged to watch. : ) It may be a little dry for some though.

It thought me something, that love was made for imperfect people and sometimes what we need to do is to learn to love the imperfections in the one that we love because like it or not, we will never be able to find that ideal person whom we always dream or imagined, but we have to learn to accept the frailties which we notice and try to accept them, if not change them. Some might question, why should we even try to love each other when both our personalities/characteristics clashes? It's because like it or not, we will always be hurt by people or likewise hurt others because of the flaws we possess. Learn to work our differences, but focus on the things which keeps us together. Don't give up hope, because love is something worth fighting for.

Pathetic

A friend once told me that blogging for the sake of blogging is pathetic.

How true.

Sometimes I wonder how many people out there, really blogs for themselves, so many blogs which began so raw, so full of emotions, filled with intrinsic thoughts, and post that evoke emotions have turned into major commercial blogs, what actually made them stand out among the rest had been compromised upon popularity. For instance, indie bands, once they get a little more famous, mainstream scene kicks in, fan base grows and not long after many of them loses the one thing which makes them stand out and change their style to suit the mainstream genre or how we blog about our private life, updating, things which matters to the heart and soon enough, people notices your blog and then we change our style of blogging, updating things which is of no essences, and most of all just to please those who reads our blogs. Haha, now I really know what blogging for the sake of blogging is. Pathetic.

Haha, as a disclaimer, I'm not blogging for the sake of blogging. :)

Toodles!